The day I found out we were expecting twins I became best friends with Google. I searched "twins" and "twin mom" and "pregnant with twins - will I ever sleep again?" The results scared me for two reasons. 1. There was so little information. 2. The information was so negative. (Turns out you will sleep again - take that, Google.)
Since then, social media has continued to thrive and a little blog called Twin Talk began. Now I find myself surrounded by fellow twin moms. Supportive twin moms. And, my goodness, what a blessing it's been to meet all of you.
I'm not sure you could find a twin mom more proud than me. I have four #TWINMOM tops (for crying out loud) and a blog that's dedicated to life with twins. If I take one of my kids somewhere, I always talk about their sibling because I just can't help myself. I love being a twin mom.
I feel like there has been a bit of a shift in the twin mom world. It's moved from a feeling of isolation to a feeling of superiority. Twin moms encouraging each other sometimes comes at a price - I've read supportive comments to one another that could really hurt singleton moms. I see shirts and mugs that declare, "Real moms make twins" and I want to hide in a corner. Snide comments along the lines of "It must be nice to only have one..." or "You think that sounds like a bad day..." insinuating a twin mom is better, stronger, and more knowledgeable than other moms (even if it was never intentional).
Let me be clear - I'm not innocent. And it's still a life goal of mine to educate the world that B/G twins cannot be identical.
No one doubts the difficulties we face. I've never met anyone who found out I had twins and said, "Must be a BREEZE!" No, they always shake their heads and tell me my hands are full. Even though I've heard it 1,000 times, I know it's simply their way of saying, "Way to go, mom." This comment drives some twin moms crazy but friends, I don't think we're allowed to have it both ways. We can't get upset at someone for saying our hands are full and then turn around and tell the world we work twice as hard and sleep half as much.
Simply put: All moms are amazing. We should be proud of our twins and proud of ourselves... but not at someone else's expense. I started this blog because I knew we needed a positive place to share our fascinating experiences with twins. I love that there is a united front of women who are thrilled to be twin moms. I want that excitement and joy to spread like wildfire because pregnant twin moms need to know what they are about to experience isn't scary - it's incredible.
I'm so grateful God blessed me with Jude & Sloane, who just so happened to arrive one minute apart. I know my singleton mom friends feel every bit as grateful for their sweet babies.
Having twins didn't make us real moms - having kids did. We're all in this together.